I've wanted to write this for years. Potatoes finally convinced me.
No old lying down or upside down, mind you.
No, I'm talking about a new brand of chip (the Miami company says on their website that they've actually been around for about 25 years) that I saw at the register recently.
Called Rap Snacks, they were available in flavors like Notorious BIG Honey Jalapeño, Snoop Dogg OG Bar-B-Que Cheddar, and Rick Ross Sweet Chili Lemon Pepper, each packaged in its own individual wrapper bag.
Which inspires me to finally ask a question I've wanted to ask for a long time.
Don't you feel a little silly now?
That means all of you who thought rap music was the end of the world 30 years ago.
We're talking about a murder unlike any we've seen since thugs smashed jukeboxes and tried to kill rock and roll in the 1950s.
Some of you thought rap was the cultural apocalypse and rappers were the scariest people in America.
Snoop Dogg, then known as Snoop Doggy Dogg, was on the cover of Newsweek and brought his best attitude to the camera.
Title: "When will rap 2 catch?" Today, Martha Stewart's best friend can be seen in TV commercials strolling and handing out beers on a fabulous beach.
Then there's Ice Cube, who, as a member of NWA, received a threatening reprimand from the FBI for a certain song that harshly criticized the police in African-American neighborhoods.
He has since become a movie star, playing a father, a soldier, and a barbershop owner, among other roles.
Ice-T was boycotted and insulted for a speed metal song called "Cop Killer". Now running a breakfast cereal company, a car warranty company and a laundry detergent, he's spent the past 22 years playing a cop on NBC.
So yeah, the length of his career, then and now, seems a little silly, okay?
People tend to forget the power of American marketing to absorb and commercialize what was once scary and scary.
Despite this amnesia, the trial is not new.
Rather, it's what we saw with Elvis in the 50s, the Rolling Stones in the 60s, Alice Cooper in the 70s, and Prince in the 80s.
They were all terrible at the same time. all threatened the status quo.
Now they don't. It is now an object of nostalgia, museums and in some cases science.
It's not that popular music shouldn't be criticized if it's violent, racist, homophobic, or otherwise offensive.
But when such criticism takes on the tones of fire alarms and air raid sirens, when there is panic in the streets and a general feeling that this song, this artist, this genre represents cultural Armageddon, a deadly threat that calls out for scary headlines or the government. . The intervention, whatever it is, suggests that critics have forgotten how many times we've walked this path, and that a little perspective might be in order.
Not to mention some healthy respect for tomorrow's ability to make today's fears dumb and strong.
After all, it is the solemn duty of each generation to anger the previous generation.
And if you're part of what used to be, you'd do well to remember what it was like when you were a crush.
And take solace in the fact that controversy inevitably becomes a commodity.
Appendix A. Snoop Dogg OG Bar-B-Que Cheddar. As time happens to us all, no one stays dangerous forever.
And marketing always has the last laugh.